I have been thinking a lot these days about the "universe of loss." There are no less than three individuals I have spoken to recently who have lost their spouse or loved one (a twenty-nine year old in one case). Many people who are deeply in love and physically separated from their significant other, and many who live in denial, be it with their work, or partners, are suddenly thrust into a situation where they are faced with loss, and consequently experience life changes.

What is it about loss that causes us so much sadness and pain? After all, life is short and with time comes healing. Everything we do is about change and growth. Flowers bloom and whither, and new ones grow in their place. Colds confine people to their beds only to arise days later healthy and vibrant. Older parents who pass away leave their children in grieving, and only with time are the children able to move forward in life and learn to cherish the good memories.

I recently met with a friend who spent an evening confiding in me about the deep pains of longing he has for his wife of twenty years who succumbed to breast cancer not too long ago. "I can't get over her absence" he told me, "her smell is still in our closet, her perfumes and soaps on the bathroom counter, the music she loved, her whispers in my ear in our intimate moments, her head on my shoulder at night and her rolling laughter." He described how his health has deteriorated even though he was always an athlete in perfect health. “Will the sense of loss ever go away?” he asked me almost rhetorically.

I myself went through major changes these last years and months. A friend of mine, a traditional Chinese doctor, has suggested to me in the past to spend time with many people, to find a trustworthy person to talk to, and to engage myself in a relaxing physical activity such as swimming. It was a nice “idea,” and productive as well as healing, but recently I chose a different approach which is tremendously uplifting. I spend much more time with myself alone "looking into me." I know it sounds a bit “off” and maybe even intimidating to those who need to be around people all the time. But trust me – it works and the internal growth is unequivocally amazing. I humbly say that strength and self confidence were always within my domain, but the capacity to enjoy myself alone and still have fun, was not necessarily within my grasp. I find that when you are sad or happy, depressed or elated, energetic or week, the physical process of being alone and looking into the exact "DNA" of our feelings and thoughts, makes us stronger and more confident. The sadness I feel at times makes me truly look into my own thoughts and actions while "feeling." I try to touch it, sense it, understand it. I try to think of what it is which will make the sadness turn around and transform it into something hopeful.

There is a lesson in everything. Losing a loved one under any circumstances regardless of how sever or devastating those circumstances may be, is difficult. I believe, however, that to some extent we are masters of our own lives and realities. It will take time, but it is up to us to grow and heal, to look into each experience individually, and to come out from the other side as better and stronger human beings. It is the law of the land.

Yoram Yahav
CEO